the stuff dreams are made of...

weird week, this one... lotsa spare time so far... school's same old boring story with teachers that mostly have no idea of what they're talking about, students that don't really give a rat's ass about classes or seminars or labs... same old bad weather - rainy, wet, cold and foggy - speciffic for this time of the year... This place used to be a bad place 'cause I'd have enough time to let my mind drift, and they were usualy things that hurt, or brought me into a state of brooding depression... but now that the torment and the things that caused it all are all gone... my mind is free to think about the next move, the next stage of this weird existence; to find out how to better take advantage of the possibilities or the proximity of others... Been doing a lot of reading: Clavell's Shogun, and I just can't seem to leave the book aside and do anything else... good author, awesome book... probably the best I've read so far 'cause of my affinity for all things Japanese. Either way, friends of mine that have read the book, but don't share my love for Japan have become instant fans. Still got the second novel to go, so I've still got a few hundred pages of pleasure and reading left... Hopefuly a friend of mine will manage to supply a little bit of "the stuff dreams are made of" by the end of this week, and if all goes well we'll be enjoying its effects... if you people know what I mean... if not.. all the same :)... again, I can hardly wait to get back home... hopefuly I'll manage to spend a little bit more time with mom and dad... either way, I'll see how things go... everything is ok now... I can hardly believe it, but everything is ok... maybe this is the stuff dreams are made of... that peace of mind... and that small measure of peace...

lazy days...

it's weird how things go... days and time seem to slow down to a snail's pace... life seems to be taking its time, letting me feel its course, its pulse, its bittersweet taste... the everyday rutine is like a conditioned reflex, done without giving to much thought to it... just go through the days doing whatever I have to do, occasionally skipping classes 'cause of lack of sleep... when you feel sleepy only around 4am it's kinda hard to wake up at 7 am... pills aren't an option either, 'cause I don't wanna pop'em like M&Ms... so... who knows... maybe something interesting will come along... hopefuly something that won't screw up the peace of mind I've so recently found... gonna attend Japanese language classes this evening... finally something good in this crappy university... other than that... just living out the days, enjoying every second of'em...

at it again...

school started yesterday for me... actually it started like a week ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to go back to the friggin college city so soon after I got rid of all that business... so... here I am again waiting for the days to pass and get back home to my friends, girlfriend and family... too much running around and laming in this city... too many cars, too many people just running around like crazy, each with their own problems and thoughts... and school... goddammit... if I'd have known that we're gonna me taught by retarded teachers, I'd have never signed up for this crap... morons don't know what an odd or even number is... so I heard the dumbest shit I've ever heard from the mouth of a teacher... either way... after finishing my exams, I got the news that I don't have to pay for school anymore 'cause of the grades I got... so now the government pays for my college... up theirs... I guess it's just another calm before the storm... that's usually the way it goes... some months of quiet time, then the chaos starts again... but heck... I'm enjoying every second of this... better make the best of it, 'cause this is as good as it gets :P

who'd have thought

heh... I guess it all went smoothly and I came out ok out of that whole ordeal... who'd have thought it's possible... after all those weeks and hundreds of hours of incessant study and nervous breakdowns, I finally managed to get it all done... it was a miracle that it went alright 'cause I never thought it's possible... I guess I managed to surprise myself after such a long time... and now... now everything fell into place like clockwork, I don't have to worry about all those exams, I just have to see how I'll enjoy this new feeling of happiness that came with it... it's a new feeling for me. For the first time in a long time... I'm ok... and I can say wholeheartedly that everything's alright... who'd have thought...