a limit to everything except pain.

You'd think that at some point, everyone's life takes a turn for calmer waters and settles down, and gets more peaceful. Not everyone's though, there are people to whom the saying "No rest for the wicked" wholly applies. After a whole year of taking crap from teachers and working my ass off, I go through the exam session, and come out the other side all torn up and broken, just to get into another exam session. I guess that's life's way of letting me know my place, and killing any semblance of a dream I might get. More confused now than ever and I'm just exploding with all the hate I keep bottled up inside. It's getting to the point where it's distorting my perception of reality, twisting and reshaping everything around me into a reflection of what's inside the rotting halls of my mind. Spent a week locked up inside my room, toil away, alone in the dark, studying hundreds upon hundreds of pages. No tv, no comp, no net, no music... just the damn papers and the info, and all the tricks a mind plays when it's fed daily with too much isolation. No GODDAMN REST FOR THE FUCKIN' WICKED... well I'm sick and fed up of/with everything. I just wanna go to bed and wake up in happier circumstances... like that'll be the day. More updates to come.

Metabolic

Gone - I couldnt murder your promise
Right before my eyes
The revolutions of my psychosis
Kept me outta the way
Once - inside - all I hold is ash...
Fall - suppressing every feeling
I'm in so much pain
I have every fuckin right to hate you
I cant take it!!!
The hardest part was knowing that I could never be you
Now all I do is sit around and wish I could forget you
My demise - I took a life worth living and
Made it worth a mockery
I deny - I fold, but they keep on coming
(stop) I'm always ready to die
But you're killing me
Who are you to me? who am I to you?
Is this a lesson in nepotistic negligence?
By default, you are my only link to the outside
Psychosomatic suicide
Where were you when I was down?
Can you show me a way...To face everyday with this face - goodbye
My demise - I took a life worth living and
Made it worth a mockery
I deny - I fold, but they keep on coming
(stop) I'm always ready to die
But you're killing me
When I blur my eyes, they make the whole
World breathe - I see you fucking me
And I am absolutely controlling every urge
To mutilate - the one and only answer
So much for memories...I wanna derss in your insecurities
And be the perfect you - I'm through
I'm out-stretched out for all to loathe
Here we go - the ultimate irony