barely pushing forward...

here I am again, updating this blog thingie... I guess it's slowly starting to take up some considerable size. Nothing really new to add to the former posts, except that the state of confusion I was talking about is kinda amplified now... and I've been trying desperately to get out of the "pit I fell in". So now my mood alternates between depression, hyperactivity, laughter, sadness, depression, worry, depression and some more depression and worry... heh, I guess I register as a class A mental case. Somehow it feels I'm moving forward, but I can't tell for sure. I'm more composed than a few weeks ago, but still so confused. I've been typing away at my book some more, and it seems it started to develop pretty well... I can hardly wait to finish it and see if I manage to publish it... but that's gonna happen (if it's gonna happen) in the somewhat distant future. I mailed the Meric Language School in Osaka as my Japanese teacher suggested, but still no reply yet. I wonder why that doesn't surprise me... Everything seems so faded and bleak, and my mood isn't helping anything. I guess now that the weather's improved a bit it feels a little bit better, but what can I say? It's not enough to fully get back to my old happy mental state... I'll wrap this entry up... I can't really think straight right now...